Encounters of the nth Kind

Bad joke.
March 17, 2010, 5:32 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Let’s just get it out there. I work at a Museum. A Museum that doesn’t have a Van Gogh, space shuttle or stuffed elephant in the lobby. A Museum that is socially conscious and had an utterly reprehensible incident took place last June (If you can’t figure it out…um….bing/google it??) That’s all I am gonna say…

Setting the scene: I am on the metro. Looking gorg (peacock feathers were involved). Listening to my music. Minding my own business. I am carrying a big bag from CVS with my platonic life partner’s (PLP) birthday present because it was raining and I was heading to Dupont for a night of shenanigans.

Girl sits down. I assume she is a pot smoking surfer (I have great peripheral vision). And the conversation goes like this:

Girl: What did you buy at cvs that needed such a big bag?

Me: Huh? (as I pause the Relient K song I was listening to and remove the ear buds)

Girl: Your bag…it’s so big

Me: Oh it’s my PLP’s birthday present – I got him a kite

Girl: They sell kites at cvs?

Me: No.

Girl: I want to fly a kite

Me: Cherry Blossom Festival. April. Go.

Girl: Where are the blossoms?

Me: Near Jefferson

Girl: The round one?

Me: Yes, it’s near my office so I can see the blossoms from my window

Girl: Oh, where do you work?

Me: The _______ Museum

Girl: I keep meaning to go there but I don’t want to get shot

Me: Bad joke

Welcome to my life.


So. I received a “leave my man alone” call last night at 1am.
March 17, 2010, 3:36 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Woah. Okay Amy. Slow down. Perhaps I should back up a little bit…First and foremost, I don’t have a man (or woman, no discrimination here) in my life. I have a “whatever” (male) on the side, but let’s be honest. That shit is fizzling. Fast. I mean for reals. I live alone with my fish, love leftovers and sleep with 14 blankets…I am not what most people would see as being “a man stealer”.

So with that bit of clarity, I would just like to point out a few of my favorite things regarding this 1am conversation:

1) It was a Tuesday night. TUESDAY. I was asleeeeeeeeep. Probably drooling. And talking (yeah, I do that too). Come on.

2) Who knew I was a boyfriend stealer? Someone should have alerted me months ago so I could have tapped that. Damn.

3) It was hard to take the caller seriously because “she” sounded a little too manly (ie. deep voice and prob had a mustache) for my liking

4) And the first thing I thought of when I woke up this morning: Which is worse? The fact that “she” went to the trouble of restricting the call so I couldn’t find that bitch or that “she” said her name was Kiki???

Welcome to my life.

Encounters of the 27th kind.
March 17, 2010, 3:21 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Let’s just get right to it, okay? I have tried this whole blog thing before (read: a few times), however I just never felt like my words were legit. cool. or worth reading. Frankly I got bored of myself.

Don’t lie. We’ve all done it. I did the “weight loss” blog (lasted about 12 days) but I talked about Chipotle way too much for that to have been a success. I tried the “daily happenings in my life” one, but my daily life is beyond boring. My cubicle is bigger than my apt and I have a fish named Jefferson (as in Thomas)…the end.  

So I decided, instead of trying too hard – I am just going to write about my random encounters. And trust me, I have some random ass encounters. Especially in the last few months. People like to talk to me. And not necessarily crazy people…though there are some craziesssss in DC. Normal people just start conversations with me. And I am completely willing to engage in those convos. But perhaps you are asking yourself “why now?” What outrageously ridiculous encounter took place in the last 24 hours that would make me start a blog (during work hours)?

One of the best encounters EVER happened last night. And by best, I mean I kind of wanted to throw shit, scream, punch, get trashed, etc. However…I resisted. I sent a few angry text messages. Was a bit of a stalker and called someone a few times, but all in all I held it together.  What was this crazy encounter? Just you wait and see…