Encounters of the nth Kind


Two guys on the bus…
April 29, 2010, 6:21 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Riding home on the bus yesterday (shocking, I know) 2 older gentlemen were having a conversation…and I have a problem with listening in. My bad.

(I always found Man #1 to be a little bit on the weird side…and now I find him to be on the really weird side.)

Man 1 :  So, what does the rest of your week look like?

Man 2: Oh, am in town for the next few weeks.

Man 1: Well you should let me know what bus you are gonna be taking each night, so I can plan to take the same bus.

Man 2: Oh yeah, for sure.

Man 1: I may work from home on Friday but if I don’t, let’s ride the 5pm bus.

The rest of the conversation is not even worth describing. I was completely weirded out.

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Day off.
April 21, 2010, 3:24 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Setting: A chilly, rainy Saturday night bus ride – going from the metro to a barrrrrrr. I am the only passenger so as soon as the driver starts talking to me, I obviously go and stand right next to him. We had a moment.

Time: 9:07 pm (roughly)

Characters: Me and the bus driver

Bus guy: So…I have tomorrow off.

Me: Well that is fun

Bus guy: Wanna know why I have tomorrow off?

Me: Sure

Bus guy: Because I have something to watch on tv

Me: Oh yeah? What’s that?

Bus guy: Wrestle mania.

Me: You took tomorrow off of work so you could watch wrestle mania? Really?

Bus guy: Oh yeah. Never miss it.

Me: Will you be watching Wrestle Mania alone?

Bus guy: Nope, going to a friend’s to watch it – he bought it on pay per view and we are gonna eat wings

Me: Pay per view still exists???



Er du skoj jag?
March 29, 2010, 5:44 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

 At the last-minute I decided to join my friend M for a showing of ‘The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” at the E street theatre on Saturday. Knew nothing about the movie – just that it is supposedly a fantastic book.

So we meet. Get seated. Lights dim. Previews play. Opening credits start. M leans over to me and says…

‘Btw. I forgot to mention, this movie is in Swedish’

…….

P.S. Regarding the subject line above. I decided to translate “Are you kidding me?” from English to Swedish. Thought it would add something to the post. The translation was “Er du skoj jag?” However when I went to translate it from Swedish to English (just to make sure I wasn’t going to offend anyone) it came up with “Are you frolic self?”

…….



I would like a refund…
March 24, 2010, 2:40 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Many of the random encounters in my life take place on the bus. I spend 2 hours a day surrounded by the same (crazies) on said bus, so obviously some weirdness is going to ensue.

There are 2 characters in the following conversation…not counting me, as I didn’t think it was appropriate to label character 3 as “girl listening in”.

Author’s note: The capitalizations and font sizes are being used on purpose to express how loud and obnoxious this conversation got. Below is just an excerpt:

Girl 1: NO, I AM SORRY YOU JUST DON’T DO THAT

Girl 2: nods head

Girl 1: COME ON NOW. IF SOMEONE STEALS YOUR TAXI, PUTS A GUN TO YOUR HEAD….YOU DO NOT BECOME THEIR BEST FRIEND

Girl 2: uncomfortable laugh

GIRL 1: YOU JUST DON’T DO SHIT LIKE THAT.  INAPPROPRIATE.

Girl 2: Uncomfortable eye glances to everyone else on the bus that are now staring in annoyance

Girl 1: COME ON NOW. AM I WRONG??? (INSERT NAME, AS IT WAS MUFFLED) IS A COP. I DON’T CARE HOW HOT SHE IS. YOU ARE A COP (INSERT NAME AGAIN)!!

Girl 2: no response

Girl 1: JESUS, THEIR LIVES WERE SO MUCH BETTER ON THE ISLAND… SAWYER AT LEAST HAD FRIENDS.

Are you effing kidding me? I listened in on a 7 minute conversation thinking someone had been harassed, abused, kidnapped, killed…and all the while this crazy lady was talking about LOST???? No effing way.

 7 minutes of my life were completely wasted. I demand a refund.



This is not a drill…
March 23, 2010, 3:11 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

Evacuation training at work just involved an episode of “The Office”. Not gonna lie. It was pretty hysterical…and awkward at the same time.



Phil Collins.
March 19, 2010, 2:05 am
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags:

Walked out of work today (btw. it was 70 freaking degrees…amazinggggggg)

I heard what sounded like a flute

I see a man

A bald man

In cargo shorts and a plain white tee

Standing outside an old school red (rusty) ford van

It had a ladder on top of it (to give some perspective)

Said man was playing

Against All Odds

By Phil Collins

On said flute

Welcome to my life.



Harley Davidson wha?
March 17, 2010, 10:37 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

I just saw a man on a harley – with a casket attached to the back.

Welcome to my life.